Hawaiian Rice

It's not really Hawaiian. I know that. And it's not high cuisine. But it comes together fast, the kids will clean their plates, it makes great leftovers, and I can make the entire meal with unrefrigerated ingredients from the pantry. It's also very forgiving, so you can increase or decrease amounts as you please.

Ingredients:

• 1 onion, chopped
• canola oil
• 1 pinch red pepper flakes
• 1 batch of Simple White Rice.
• 1/8 C soy sauce
• 1 20oz can crushed pineapple
• 1 10oz can chicken, drained (reserve water)

Steps:

1. Add chopped onion and canola oil to a large skillet. Let cook, stirring occasionally, until translucent. Add red pepper flakes and heat slightly.
2. Add white rice. Plain rice will work fine (my kids prefer it), although I find rice with onion and ginger is especially good. Stir immediately to keep rice from sticking to skillet.
3. Add drained chicken to rice. Stir to distribute. If rice is cold or dry, some water from the canned chicken can be added.
4. Add 1/8 cup of soy sauce. Stir to distribute.
5. Add crushed pineapple, directly from can. Stir to distribute.

That's it. Like I said, it's dead simple. Serve with a green vegetable and call it a day.

Simple White Rice

"The best teacher in America," a friend said to me, "is Alton Brown."

My friend is a pastor, and we were talking about teaching hard parts of the Bible. Alton Brown is a cook. What possible connection could there be? I borrowed some DVDs to find out.

My friend was right. Brown is a great teacher who takes difficult subjects (chemistry, physics, nutrition, history, etc) and makes them easily accessible to those interested in learning.  I mostly just watched to learn to teach, but along the way I learned how to cook, as well. Today, I love to cook. I attribute the change, in large part, to Alton's influence.

This is Brown's "Rice in a Rush" recipe. I make it at least once a week.

Simple White Rice

Ingredients

• 3 cups boiling water
• 2 T butter
• 2 cups long-grained rice

Instructions

1. Boil the water. It won't work if the water's not boiling.
2. Melt butter in an appropriately-sized pot over high heat.
3. Add rice and stir until lightly brown.
4. Add 3 cups boiling water, cover with a lid, and turn the heat to simmer. Set timer for 15 minutes and do not disturb until time is up.

Notes:

If you want to spice up your rice, add spices between steps 2 and 3. Alton adds a teaspoon of salt, which I avoid. I usually add a chopped onion, which he avoids. Depending on the dish, I may add other spices to the butter before adding the rice and water: chipotle, red pepper flakes, or ginger are the most common. Still, the basic instructions are almost impossible to mess up.

Quick Beer Bread

I don’t drink beer. I don’t like it. But I love beer bread. Go figure. I pretty much never have beer in the house, but when I do this gets made with remarkable regularity. It takes 5 minutes to make and 35 to cook, so if you have any beer at home you could be eating this in 40 minutes.

Ingredients

• 3 C all-purpose flour
• 3 T packed light brown sugar
• 1 T baking powder
• 1 t salt

• 1 (12 oz) bottle beer, at room temperature and unopened

• 4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

Steps

1. Preheat oven to 375 F. Grease your loaf pan. Make sure your 4T of butter is melted.
2. In a big mixing bowl, mix your dry ingredients (flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt).
3. Open beer and add immediately. It’ll fizz like crazy... that’s how you know it’s working. Mix until it’s combined, but don’t overmix.  Lumpy is fine.
4. Move batter to pan. Level it out as well as you can. Pour melted butter on top.
5. Bake for 35ish minutes at 375. If it’s done, a sharp knife stuck in the middle should come out clean.
6. Give it a minute or so to cool down a bit, but this bread is best hot. It’s good cold, too, but nothing beats hot bread. Serve with butter and honey, or just plain. If there’s any left the next day (hey, it could happen), microwave and serve with butter and honey.

Bulletproof Condiments: Classic Mayo and Fresh Aioli

I actually wrote these out once before, but I put four recipes in the same post and it was difficult linking to each. This post will just cover two recipes: Classic Mayo and a near-identical recipe for Classic Aioli.

Classic Mayo:

Mayo is way more intimidating than it should be. Word to the wise, though: Only attempt this with a blender or food processor, and be careful what size eggs you use. The first two times I made this recipe it was perfect, the next time (same recipe, but with smaller eggs) it made soup. Not enough egg to oil. If you have large eggs, you can use up to 2 cups of vegetable oil. Add the 1 1/2 cups first, then add more a bit at a time until you're happy with the consistency. I generally find that 1.75 cups of oil is exactly the right amount for the eggs that we buy.

Ingredients

• 2 eggs
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 2 teaspoons dry mustard
• 1/4 cup white vinegar
• 1 1/2 cups vegetable oil  (or slightly more)

Directions:

1. Put first four ingredients in a food processor or blender, and turn on.
2. With the motor still running, SLOWLY and STEADILY add the oil. You want to continually add a small stream of oil. Drop it in batches and you'll get oily eggs.
3. After your 1 1/2 cups are added, check consistency.  Add more oil if mayo is too thin.
4. Refrigerate.

Fresh Aioli

Aioli is essentially a mayo made with Italian flavors (garlic and olive oil). It's far less versatile than the classic mayo, but it tastes great on a sandwich.  I usually make a smaller batch since there are fewer uses for it. We'll use the above recipe, but substitute garlic for dry mustard and olive oil for vegetable oil.

Ingredients

• 1 garlic clove
• 1 egg
• 1 teaspoons salt
• 1/8 cup white vinegar
• 3/4 cups olive oil  (or slightly more)

Directions:

1. Add garlic clover to food processor, and turn on.
2. Add egg, salt, and vinegar.
3. With the motor still running, SLOWLY and STEADILY add the oil. You want to continually add a small stream of oil. Drop it in batches and you'll get oily eggs.
4. After your 3/4 cups are added, check consistency.  Add more oil if mayo is too thin.
5. Refrigerate.

Turkey Mole

That's pronounced "moe-lay." It's not the small burrowing mammal.

I've got a fair number of new recipes to write up, but I've told myself I can't do any blog writing unless I finish my academic writing. I'm taking two classes right now in an attempt to finish my Master's degree in May. But I finished a paper this weekend and won't start on the next one until tomorrow, so this evening I can record this for posterity. It's going to become a standard for us.

It's incredible how cheap turkeys get this time of year. It's practically criminal not to take advantage of some of the Thanksgiving sales. But there's only so many turkeys you can roast before you get sick of turkey. I can't make turkey more than 2 or 3 times a year without getting tired of the taste. Solution? Cook turkey meat so it doesn't taste like turkey.

We thawed our frozen bird and this afternoon I broke it down. Legs, thighs, and wings come off, skin comes off, breasts come off, and the rest goes in the pot for stock.

I used the turkey skin and breasts to make Kenji's Turkey Porchetta. It's curing in the fridge; we'll know tomorrow night how it turned out. I think I'm going to braise the drumsticks and wings because braising helps break down the large amounts of connective tissue found in the legs of a large turkey. Right now I'm leaning towards Martha's recipe but we'll see how it plays out.

But my favorite part of the turkey is the thigh.  It's the best meat on the bird, and it's easy (especially before you cook it) to make it boneless. I'll have plenty of dark meat over the next week, though. Today's mission: find a way to cook the thighs that doesn't taste like turkey. Solution: Mexican food. This isn't a true mole sauce (the authentic ones are way too much work), but it's a good 80% solution in maybe 5% of the time.  Call it a faux-lay instead of a moe-lay. Faule? Fole?

We're going to quickly brown the turkey, then braise it in a simple sauce made from tomatoes and chicken stock. It'll cook covered for 30-45 minutes, then it's ready to serve. Bulletproof.

Bulletproof Turkey Mole

Ingredients

• 2 turkey thighs
• Oil to coat skillet
• 1 small onion
• 2 cloves garlic
• 1 cup low-sodium chicken stock
• 1 can diced tomatoes (I spent 97 cents and bought Great Value Fire Roasted Salsa-Style Seasoned Diced Tomatoes)
• Spices may vary based on your own preferences and what you have available, but I used (measurements approximate):
• 1 chipotle pepper in adobe sauce, diced small
• 1 T taco seasoning
• 1 t cajun seasoning
• 1 t cumin
• 1/2 C brine from jar of pickled jalapenos
• Taco fixings (tortillas, cheese, rice, black beans, sour cream, salsa, fresh chopped tomatoes, etc).

Steps

1. Take the skin off the turkey thighs and remove the thighbone. Cut in half so there are four pieces.
2. Rough chop the onion, smash and mince the garlic.
3. Set large skillet on high heat and pour in enough oil to coat the bottom.
4. Once oil is hot, place turkey in skillet for about a minute. Add onions and garlic. Flip turkey and let sit for about a minute.
5. Remove turkey and add chicken broth to deglaze the pan. Use a metal spatula or spoon to get all the crusty bits off the pan and into the sauce you're creating. 
6. Pour in diced tomatoes, stir, then add remaining ingredients.
7. Add turkey back to skillet. Ladle some of the sauce over the turkey, then turn heat down to medium and let simmer for 30-45 minutes. It really could go for longer or shorter, depending on your own needs. The longer you have, the lower you should set the heat. Once time is up, pull the turkey apart with a pair of forks but leave the meat in the sauce until it's time to serve.

This made a really satisfying taco meal with plenty of leftovers to spare. Best part? It doesn't taste like turkey. Not even a little bit.

Freelance Cookies

I'm in the middle of a big push to pick up some new freelance clients. Tomorrow, I'm visiting eight local engineering shops and dropping off my business card along with a plateful of cookies. I'm giving them my favorite cookie recipe; I made over a hundred of these today.

Timid Salesmen Have Skinny Kids

It's everything I like in a cookie: some chocolate, some peanut butter, and some chewiness. I made four batches of these tonight; they're dead simple and delicious. I use a stand mixer, which is great, but you're welcome to use a hand-mixer or your bulging muscles if you like.

Ingredients:

• 1 stick butter (room temperature or warmer, but not liquid)
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1 egg
• 1 t vanilla

• 1.5 C flour
• 1 t baking soda
• .5 t salt

• 1 C old-fashioned oats
• 2/3 C chocolate chips
• 1/3 C peanut butter chips

Steps:

1. Add butter and brown sugar to bowl. Beat.
2. Add egg and vanilla. Beat.
3. Add dry ingredients. Beat.
4. Add oats. Mix.
5. Add chocolate and peanut butter chips. Mix.
6. Add to cookie sheet in a size that you like. Cook at 350 for 13 minutes.  I kept two cookie sheets going at all times, switching the top and bottom sheets at the 6:30 mark.
7. Move to cooling rack immediately. Try not to eat the first batch by the time the second batch comes out of the oven.

Delicious Failure

"Success," said Winston Churchill, "consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." By this metric, I am an incredibly successful man.

I'm an odd and contrary dude. I generally don't enjoy reading books by people I agree with, and I don't enjoy cooking foods I know how to make. This means I cook a lot of things for the first time. They're usually decent... it's harder than you'd think to really destroy a from-scratch dish if you follow the recipe. Of course, my favorite dishes don't have recipes that I've been able to find... that's why I want to start writing them down.

Normally I wouldn't write about something I made until I'd nailed it at least once, but my failure to make jelly has been delicious.  Backstory follows:

The stuff that makes jelly jel is called "pectin" and it's found in many natural foods, but apples are especially high in it. Specifically, apple peels and cores are high in it. That means if you use the flesh of an apple for cooking (these, for example), you could still use the skin and cores to make jelly. But isn't an apple jelly pretty bland? Of course it is. Solution: add jalapenos.

I threw all of my apple leftovers in a pot and added water until they were covered. Then I started boiling. I added a double handful of chopped jalapenos (we keep "nacho style" pickled jalapeno slices in the fridge) and cooked until the cooking liquid looked almost brown. I poured the liquid into a multi-cup measure (it was almost exactly 3 cups), got rid of the solids, poured the liquids back into the pot, and added 3/4 C of sugar and a shake of cinnamon for every cup of liquid.

Here's my mistake: I added extra water from the tap. I prefer jams to jellies because james are more spreadable, and I worried that I'd have too much pectin in the soup and that it would set up into a "hard" jelly that doesn't spread well out of the fridge. So I added one cup of water, cooked until the liquid was 220 degrees Fahrenheit, poured off into jars, and refrigerated.

That extra cup of water killed me. Instead of having a nice spicy jelly, I have something more the consistency of maple syrup. It drips everywhere. And it is delicious.

Seriously, it's incredible. It starts out tasting like apple honey, and then when you swallow it you get the bite from the peppers. It's awesome. I've had it by the spoon, over muffins, on peanut butter, and stirred into a glass of water. Next up: pancakes and pork chops (not at the same time).

I'll try making this again, and this time I'll leave out the extra water. I may go easier on the jalapenos, because it has enough kick that nobody else in the family will eat it. But I might leave the heat alone... that might be a valuable feature.